What Are You Doing?

Have you ever thought “What are these Christians talking about! I have tried everything to grow closer to God and my life doesn’t seem to get better.” You aren’t alone, I think if you ask anyone who has had any growth in their faith they will have been there at some point or another. Sometimes, doubt creates an opportunity for God to show Himself.

God has really used the times in my life when I have had doubt to challenge me and create opportunities for growth. There was a time in my life when I looked up to someone as a leader in my life, and when he began to talk to me about faith and life I took his words as gospel. That is until those people in my life who I admired for their faith and wisdom started to speak the real truth into my life. This caused me to have doubts, I wasn’t sure who or what to believe. However, through this doubting, God opened a door. He made a way for me to discover the truth, squash my doubt and grow closer to Him. I began to earnestly read the Bible in search of specific answers, I turned to those people that I knew had spoken wisdom into my life in the past, and searched tried and true resources on the internet, books and of course in the Bible for answers. When I actively searched for the answers to my doubt, God took that opportunity to grow my faith, reassure me, and give me the truth.

So my question to you is: What is it about your faith or God that you doubt? Once you can clearly identify the “issue” it becomes easier to address it. If you just say I don’t understand Christianity, or I don’t believe in God, that isn’t clear. What don’t you understand, what don’t you believe about God? These are the questions we need clarity on so we can address them. If you know what the doubt is, then you can begin to search out answers. There are so many resources available to us, and the biggest one is the Bible.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. – Matthew 7:7

Seek out the truth that is the Word of God and put a stop to the doubt in your heart so you can begin to grow!

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. – 2 Timothy 2:15

Advertisements

Falling Down… Time to Get Back Up

I have shared this part of my story with a number of people, but not a large majority of people.

Over the past 4 years, I have been on a journey; this journey has not been easy and still isn’t always easy. A lot of the story has only been revealed to me over the last year.

Let’s start in 2014. This is when my life started to change, I think a good place to start is my education. In 2014 the CGA, CMA and CA designations decided to unite under the new designation CPA. Well, I was a student in the CGA program, and when we (me and other students) tried to get information regarding the transition, we were met with answers of we aren’t sure what will all happen, just keep taking courses so that they can transfer. For some reason that I’m not even sure of this really affected me and I began to feel extremely discouraged. I kept taking courses as suggested, but the motivation was gone, and discouragement had taken over. I failed 3 courses in a row. When you are already discouraged, this does nothing but make your self-esteem drop. Let it be known, that I am not trying to blame CGA or CPA for anything, it was just a trigger.

That summer I stopped taking courses, and began to seclude myself, and start up bad old habits like a porn addiction I thought was dealt with. Satan knew my weaknesses and exploited every single one of them. Over the next 2 years, I would find myself sinking lower and lower into this pit.

The next attack came in late 2015/early 2016 when I began to obsess about my body image. I knew I was overweight, and with the added pressure of society constantly showing what the ideal male body should look like I decided I needed to change, not for God, but for me. So my new year’s resolution for 2016 was that I would stop eating sweets for 6 months. It worked! I lost 30lbs by the time my Brothers wedding came around. However, even though I looked healthy on the outside, I was not healthy mentally or spiritually. Looking back, I can remember that on a regular basis (maybe once a week) I would think about driving my car full speed into a hydro pole. I never thought of myself as suicidal and wasn’t even aware I was doing it on a regular basis, until afterward. Living life to be healthy for the sake of being healthy is not ok. Living life to follow God is the only way.

This would be the lesson I would re-learn over the course of 2017. Through all of this, I was still involved in youth ministry and Sunday school, but I had begun to distance myself from the Sunday morning service. I would use excuses like “I was too tired” or “I would watch a sermon at home”. These were lies I was telling myself and others. What was really going on was subconsciously I was too afraid to face those around me that would probably be the ones who could help me. One day though I got caught. As I was leaving Church one Sunday, I got a text from Autumn Dueck, the youth pastor at the time. It read something like “Which Church are you going to?” I replied, “I’m actually going home, I had a long weekend.”. A LIE! But man was this a wake-up call. Later that afternoon I sent an honest response, explaining things as I saw them at that time (my eyes have since been opened to seeing so much more of my story). Starting that week I made a commitment to myself. Be more intentional! I started attending church weekly, with the intention of learning. I started greeting people and actually having conversations and opening up. It has made a tremendous change in my life.

I know now that this was a valley I had to go through to re-ignite my passion for Jesus, Church, people and youth ministry. I’m not perfect and I still make mistakes (secluding myself on occasion) but things are still going up!

Two verses that have really been my internal anthem over 2017 are Isaiah 40:31 and Psalm 103 (the whole chapter). I am so thankful for the people that have challenged me and encouraged me through this time, and for an amazing church family. Can I end with a few prayer requests? Please pray that I stay strong in my faith and continue to seek Jesus every day, pray for wisdom as I mentor youth over the next 4 years, and finally for endurance to continue to be intentional every chance I get.

Thanks for reading, this has been a very hard story to write (I had planned to post this months ago)

 

Jordan

Featured post

Our Sins, Gods Forgiveness

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. I have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, you have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Paul fell short of the glory of God.

What do we do with this knowledge that we are all falling short of the glory of God? We can seek forgiveness from the only one who can give it! We have been saved, because “For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. ” John 3:16. God gave us a way out of what we deserved as a fallen race. We deserved death, we deserved an eternity in Hell, and we deserve all the consequences in our physical lives, because of the mistakes we have made. 

God is the ultimate judge of our souls, no matter what you have done in your physical life, you are eligible for Gods grace and mercy! You can be a murderer, liar, a thief, a homosexual, an adulterer, or even someone who is constantly jealous and envies their neighbors. What ever you have done in your life if you turn from it you can be brought into right relationship with God, but how do you do this? Well Psalms 51 is the prayer that David prayed after he was confronted about his dealings with Bathsheba (see 2 Samuel 11 if you do not know the story). And I think it shows us exactly how we should approach God with our mistakes.

Be gracious to me, God,
according to Your faithful love;
according to Your abundant compassion,
blot out my rebellion.
Wash away my guilt
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I am conscious of my rebellion,
and my sin is always before me.
Against You—You alone—I have sinned
and done this evil in Your sight.
So You are right when You pass sentence;
You are blameless when You judge.
Indeed, I was guilty when I was born;
I was sinful when my mother conceived me.

Surely You desire integrity in the inner self,
and You teach me wisdom deep within.
Purify me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones You have crushed rejoice.
Turn Your face away[a] from my sins
and blot out all my guilt.

10 God, create a clean heart for me
and renew a steadfast[b] spirit within me.
11 Do not banish me from Your presence
or take Your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore the joy of Your salvation to me,
and give me a willing spirit.[c]
13 Then I will teach the rebellious Your ways,
and sinners will return to You.

14 Save me from the guilt of bloodshed, God,
the God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing of Your righteousness.
15 Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare Your praise.
16 You do not want a sacrifice, or I would give it;
You are not pleased with a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifice pleasing to God is[d] a broken spirit.
God, You will not despise a broken and humbled heart.

18 In Your good pleasure, cause Zion to prosper;
build[e] the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then You will delight in righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings;
then bulls will be offered on Your altar.

This is the Old Testament, so we do not have to make sacrifices, because Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for us! One thing that I really love about this passage is that it shows us that we should not be ashamed to bring our troubles and temptations to the Lord. God knows what we have done and just seeks us to ask for His forgiveness and seek to repent from our sins, because God loves us and is willing to take the suffering onto his own shoulders!

God is great! His love moves past our sins and affects the very deepest part of our soul. May God use this passage to attach to the deepest roots inside your heart so that you to will seek Gods grace and His love!

Making Changes

What has God done in your life to let you know that you need to make a change? Have you been paying attention? Have you been working towards a better relationship with Jesus Christ?

Recently I have been reading a book called “The Great Divorce” by C.S. Lewis. The book has made me think about decisions that I have made in my past and the judgements I have thrown on people behind their back. God shows us in unique ways where we are going wrong in life, and he also shows us how to fix problems.

“We had previously suffered and been treated outrageously in Philippi, as you know, but with the help of our God we dared to tell you his gospel in the face of strong opposition.” 1 Thessalonians 2:2. This is an example of God placing people in your life. This is one of the ways that God lets us know that we are not heading down the path that He wanted for us.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor; If either of them falls down one can help the other up,. But Pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” God wants us to have friends that help us through hard times. God also wants them there to help us grow in our relationship with Jesus Christ, and one way they do that is by helping us identify problems in our life, such as being a control freak, swearing, tearing people down etc.

I have really been focusing on making a change in my life, I want to be someone who is on fire for Jesus Christ! Slowly I have been changing (at least I think I have been :P) with the help of all the people in my life, spending time in the Word and spending time in prayer I think I can learn day by day to know God more and to live a life pleasing to him.

I want to challenge all the people that read this to make the same kind of commitment. 😀 Good Luck and God Bless

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑